What No One Tells You About Perimenopause (And Why You’re Not Crazy)

You’re standing in the middle of a room, keys in hand, with no idea why you’re there. Or you’re weeping out of the blue—and snapping at your partner five minutes later. Or maybe you're lying awake at 3 a.m., body buzzing, brain foggy, but somehow wired.

This isn’t just “getting older.” It might be perimenopause.

And no one prepared you for this.

Perimenopause can feel disorienting, but you’re not alone—and you’re not imagining it.

What Is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the transitional time leading up to menopause, marked by fluctuating estrogen and progesterone levels. It often starts in your 40s—but for some, the changes begin in their mid-30s. This phase can last 4–10 years and is biologically distinct from menopause, which is defined as 12 consecutive months without a period.

And yet, many women have never even heard of it until they’re deep in the trenches of brain fog, night sweats, or mood swings.

According to the North American Menopause Society, over 6,000 women in the U.S. enter menopause each day, but the majority feel unprepared for the emotional and cognitive changes that can start years earlier.

The Mental Load Meets Hormonal Mayhem

Perimenopause isn’t just about hot flashes. For many women, the emotional and psychological symptoms are the most disruptive. These may include:

• Irritability or rage outbursts that feel out of character

• Anxiety that shows up for no clear reason

• Mood swings that mimic PMS on steroids

• Difficulty concentrating (often called “brain fog”)

• Sleep disruptions, leading to emotional exhaustion

What’s happening is this: Estrogen plays a vital role in mood regulation, memory, and sleep. As it fluctuates, your nervous system gets knocked off balance.

And because women in their 30s and 40s are often managing work, caregiving, parenting, and a never-ending mental checklist... the emotional fallout can feel enormous.

No, You’re Not Crazy—You’re Chemically Rebalancing

The phrase “you’re not crazy” gets thrown around a lot, but let’s back it up with science.

• Estrogen influences serotonin and dopamine, the brain chemicals that regulate mood. When estrogen dips, your tolerance for stress can plummet.

• Progesterone, known for its calming effects, also declines—meaning you may feel wired and tired at the same time.

• Research shows that perimenopausal women are at a significantly higher risk for depression.

These changes aren’t imaginary, and they’re not character flaws. They’re neurochemical.

Regulating Your Nervous System (When the Hormones Won’t Cooperate)

So what can you do besides grit your teeth and ride it out?

Here are a few science-backed ways to support your nervous system through the ups and downs of perimenopause:

1. Slow, Steady Breathing

Practices like box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing help calm your vagus nerve and shift your body out of fight-or-flight mode.

2. Gentle Movement

Exercise doesn’t have to be intense to be effective. Walking, yoga, or light strength training can reduce cortisol and support hormonal balance.

3. Prioritize Sleep

Easier said than done—but a consistent bedtime, dark room, and reducing blue light in the evening can help stabilize your sleep-wake cycle.

4. Track Emotional Patterns

Many women find it validating and empowering to track their symptoms. You may notice patterns tied to your cycle, stress levels, or sleep quality.

Let’s Talk About It

Perimenopause deserves more than a whisper. It deserves conversations, compassion, and science-based care. If you’ve been feeling like you don’t recognize yourself lately—emotionally, cognitively, or physically—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.

You’re recalibrating. And I’m here to support you through it. Click the button below to schedule a free consultation.

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