What Is Emotional Regulation & How Therapy Can Help
Emotions can be intense and unpredictable. You might find yourself overreacting, shutting down, or struggling to recover after stress. When this happens often, it may be a sign that your emotional regulation system is under strain.
If that’s the case, emotional regulation therapy can help you understand your responses and build skills to manage them more effectively.
What Is Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulty managing emotional responses in a way that feels balanced or appropriate to the situation. It can show up as:
Intense emotional reactions to relatively small triggers
Trouble calming down after stress or conflict
Emotional shutdown or numbness
Feeling ashamed, confused, or out of control
Emotional dysregulation can develop from a variety of factors, including trauma, ADHD, chronic stress, or early relational experiences.
It’s common to develop coping strategies that bring short-term relief but create long-term distress. These might include emotional withdrawal, overworking, compulsive behaviors, or relying on substances to self-soothe.
Over time, these strategies can contribute to anxiety, depression, or disconnection from yourself and others.
An emotional dysregulation therapist can help identify these patterns and provide tools to shift them in supportive, sustainable ways.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, understand, and respond to emotions in a way that’s flexible and aligned with your values. It doesn’t mean controlling or suppressing your feelings—it means creating enough space between the emotion and the response to choose how to move forward.
Just like hikers deciding which way to go, emotional regulation allows you to pause, assess, and choose your response to difficult emotions.
[Unsplash image by @marcokaufmann]
From a neuroscience perspective, emotional regulation relies on coordination between the brain’s emotion and thinking centers—especially the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. It’s a skill that develops over time and can be strengthened through awareness, practice, and support.
How Therapy Supports Emotional Regulation
Therapy can help you make sense of your emotional patterns and develop practical strategies to work with them. Emotional regulation therapy may include:
Mindfulness and distress tolerance skills (often drawn from DBT and ACT)
Somatic tools that increase body awareness and support nervous system regulation
Brainspotting or trauma-informed approaches to resolve stuck emotional responses
Psychoeducation to understand how your brain and body process emotion
Rather than offering quick fixes, therapy provides a space to explore your experiences, practice new skills, and build greater emotional resilience.
Who Might Benefit from Emotional Regulation Therapy
Many people struggle with emotional regulation, even if they appear composed or high-functioning to others. Therapy may be especially helpful if you:
Feel overwhelmed by stress or conflict
Have difficulty calming down or bouncing back after emotional situations
Are frequently told you're “too sensitive” or “too intense”
Identify with ADHD, trauma, or chronic stress patterns
Use avoidance, numbing, or substance use to manage feelings
Are navigating big transitions like caregiving, relocation, or relationship shifts
Emotional regulation therapy can be particularly helpful for women and expats—two groups who often carry a high emotional load without much support.
What to Expect in Working with a Therapist
In therapy, you’ll work collaboratively to understand your emotional landscape and develop tools that fit your life. This might include:
Identifying personal triggers and stress patterns
Learning how to tolerate and move through uncomfortable emotions
Building nervous system awareness and recovery skills
Creating space to respond rather than react
Final Thoughts
Emotional regulation isn’t about becoming unbothered or perfectly calm—it’s about gaining the capacity to stay present and engaged, even when emotions run high. With the right support, you can build a stronger foundation for navigating challenges with more clarity and confidence.
If you’re ready to explore emotional regulation therapy, you can learn more about my approach or reach out to get started.
